Why I only write when I feel like it

“Write every day” is common advice pounded into aspiring writers’ heads. If not every day, writers are encouraged to schedule writing time and stick to weekly routines. The purpose is to train your creative brain to produce a steady stream of writing regardless of inspiration.

I love routines. My perfect morning starts with making my bed, a chai latte, and breakfast for my poodles followed by twenty minutes of reading and a leisurely shower. I love how routines minimize decision making and ensure I focus on my priorities.

However, a routine is a luxury not everyone can sustain. My body is unreliable. My health changes from hour to hour without warning. It does not abide by any clock or calendar, no matter how hard I try to bribe it. As a disabled and chronically ill person, I have given up on routines.

When I first got sick, I thought if I followed a strict routine, I would feel better. I created a conservative schedule of medications, healthy meals, exercise, and sleep. I tried to follow it every day and every day I failed. My routine was destroyed by bouts of dizziness, midday vomiting, and nighttime muscle spasms. Instead of feeling better, I felt worse as I clung to my schedule and ignored my body’s demands.

Five minutes of writing a day may seem like an easy commitment (I have tried it!), but some days I can barely walk or shower. Some days I must choose between eating and resting. Some days brain fog robs me of my words. On a bad day, I don’t need the added disappointment and guilt of a writing routine I can’t maintain.

I am not less of a writer, because I can’t write every day. In fact, my experience with chronic illness and disability enriches my writing. Furthermore, I love writing and doing what I love, at my own pace, is healing. In the end, writing when I feel like it helps me feel like writing much more often.

4 tips for writers with chronic illness (and everyone else)

1.  Set realistic, meaningful goals
I have less energy than most people, so I must choose my goals carefully. A near death experience incited my desire to launch blog. I cannot blog every day or every week, but I strive to post every two weeks. I remind myself that the quality of my posts matters more to me than the quantity. I also decided not to monetize my blog in order to save my energy for writing.

2. Write when you feel good, wherever that may be
Inspiration is extremely elusive when you feel like crap most of the time, so I make every effort to capture it. I’ve trained myself to jot every idea into my phone no matter what I’m doing. I dictated half of this blog post into my phone while sitting in traffic. Notes and outlines help me write when I feel good, but I’m not inspired. I always bring these with me to my medical appointments, where I spend a lot of time waiting.

3. Enjoy less taxing, creative activities when you don’t feel good
I’ve learned how to enjoy myself when my brain feels like mush. Podcasts, books, movies, and coloring are low-energy activities that can be great distractions, while stimulating creativity. You totally have my permission to binge on Netflix. I also recommend networking with other writers on social media. Networking can be as simple as liking someone’s posts and sending goofy memes. The chronic illness and disabled writing communities are awesome.

4. Be kind to yourself
Your body is not the enemy. When I’m unable to meet my goals due to my health, I acknowledge that I’ve been busy trying to stay alive. There is no writing pace that guarantees success, but you do need be alive in order to write. Fighting your own body and criticizing your limitations is not productive. Self-care will make you a better writer.