I have a lot of problems right now

So, inevitably, I tapered off prednisone and fainted all over my condo for three days. Then I decided to be brave and try a new treatment: quercetin, a mast cell stabilizer. At first, it felt amazing. My kidney inflammation completely disappeared. Two days later, I lost my vision and feeling in the right side of my body.

After I stopped the quercetin and my vision came back, I lost hearing in my right ear. I have no idea why my mast cells decided to trap a bunch of fluid in my ear. I tried to tough it out, but vertigo forced me to crawl like a baby. Sudafed opened up my ear tubes, but now the decongestant is pissing off my pee tubes.

And no one wants to hear about these problems.

So, here’s another.

A young guy moved into the condo next to me. This is significant because until now I was the token young person in the building. It’s nice to live next to another person with a job and other priorities besides monitoring me, my dogs, and my garden. (Stop looking in my window, Susan!)

As soon as he bought the place, he started tearing down the walls. I think it’s admirable when someone renovates their own place, so I didn’t even mind the noise. Although I did get nervous when my bathtub shook as his sledgehammer blasted the adjoining wall.

The following day, as he continued to work on his bathroom, I learned my shower wall provides practically no sound barrier. Even with my inflamed ear tubes, I could hear every word of his TED Talk podcast… in my living room. Of course, at that moment my pee tubes declared it was time to relieve myself. Reluctantly, I sat down on the toilet. This episode was about gender and genetics. So, he’s a handyman and an intellectual. And yeah, of course, he’s attractive. After all, one does not remodel without muscles!

First impressions are everything, and the sound of my tinkle is reserved for my closest friends. I held my bladder and wished I had to do another 24-hour urine analysis, so I could pee in a bucket in the privacy of my bedroom. Maybe I need to go to the hospital to get my problems sorted out. Or at least until my neighbor puts a bathroom wall up.

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