What actually happened was documented by video. The doctor asked, “How are you doing?”
I responded, “Good.”
I WAS NOT GOOD.
“Any dizziness?” she asked.
“No, I just feel super heavy,” I said.
STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.
“Any headache?” she asked.
“Super, super heavy,” I groaned.
SHUT UP. I AM BEING CRUSHED INTO A TINY DIAMOND.
Instead of speaking my mind, I politely closed my eyes.
Within a few minutes, the pressure subsided and I just felt weak.
After 10 minutes, the doctor lowered the table and asked, “How are you feeling?”
“My legs are all tingly,” I said. “There’s pain in my muscles.” Then I realized the pain was the blood rushing back into my legs. They had been numb the whole time I was standing.
“Your heart rate did not jump. This is not a diagnosis of POTS,” my specialist explained. “What we are finding is you had an adrenergic response meaning your blood pressure jumped and you were symptomatic.”
Although I expected the blood pressure rise, I was surprised my heart rate stayed normal. The doctor explained that my results supported the evidence that when I am triggered, my body maintains the reaction. In other words, I get stuck in flight or flight.
I’M NEVER FUCKING STANDING AGAIN.
“So we’ve got three more tests,“ she said.
“Cool,” I lied.
Deep Breathing Test
When my specialist explained the deep breathing test, breathing in and out deeply for one minute with the help of a computer screen, I was like:
I TRAINED FOR THIS MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD IN THE ASTHMA CLINIC. AND I PLAYED THE TUBA.
I was feeling pretty confident after surviving the tilt table. While my deep breathing performance was perfection and my heart rate was normal, my mast cells protested.
“I’m cold,” I interrupted the doctor’s explanation.
“Like suddenly cold?” she said.
“Yes,” I said.
She retrieved a blanket.
“My chest hurts,” I said, remembering that bronchospasms can often feel like a heart attack.
“This test is like blowing up a teeny, tiny balloon,” my doctor explained. “So, you know how much pressure you have to put on a teeny, tiny balloon?”
“Yeah, until my jaw pops out,” I replied.
*NERVOUS LAUGHTER*
Luckily, my jaw did not pop and my CSF blood patch did not blow, but honestly, this was my least favorite test because worried about my Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) complications. My results showed a slightly delayed sympathetic response, unlike my tilt table test. Perhaps, my body was starting to wear out from testing. This test triggered a wicked headache that built for 12 hours.
Quantitative Sudomotor Axon Reflex Test (QSART)
After the surviving the tilt table, a little electricity didn’t fluster me at all. Four small plastic cups were taped to forearm, foot, and leg to measure amounts of sweat, or sympathetic response, generated by a mild electrical current. Sympathetic nervous system
“It does feel a little prickly, but I think you’ll be fine,” my doctor said. “How are you feeling?”
“Prickly,” I said.
“Maybe that’s an understatement,” she said.
“Yep,” I said.
WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THESE TESTS?!
For me, this test was tolerable, not really any worse than a MCAS skin reaction. My sweat was slightly low in a few places. No surprise, as I often skip my deodorant stick with no repercussions.
