I nap, I mean meditate

About four years ago, I discovered that mediation is like yoga, but without the workout. No sweating, falling, or surprise farts. Yet it still gives me something pretentious to say when someone asks what I’ve been up to.

Right now, I am in the middle of one of Oprah and Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Experience. These free, guided mediations squelch my snark and help me to relax. Deepak recommends sitting to mediate, but savasana was the only part of yoga I actually enjoyed, so I usually lie on my couch. (Why would I lie on my yoga mat when I can lie on a couch?) At the sound of Deepak’s voice, Sancho the Service Dog crawls onto my shoulder and promptly falls asleep. And then, inspired by the mantra of the day, I usually do too. Approximately sixteen minutes later, a bell rings and I wake up alert (possibly roused by skepticism).

So maybe I just take fancy naps. I’m glad I conditioned myself to this routine before my disease got severe. It’s particularly helpful when I have tachycardia as loud as the Tell-Tale Heart. Or when the hard of hearing man in the adjacent ER room is getting his hemorrhoids pushed back in. It doesn’t work with kidney stones though.

P.S. Doga is also an acceptable alternative to yoga. Yes, it is yoga with your dog.

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P.P.S. I can’t do doga anymore, because classes are held outside for fear of a doggie accident. (Honestly, they should worry more about me having an accident.) So I taught my poodle how to vinyasa on his own.

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